I have the perfect remedy for insomnia. When I can’t sleep, I reach for my smartphone and earbuds and start playing a random episode of History Channel’s Ancient Aliens. Ten minutes into a monotonous analysis of alleged alien spacecrafts depicted in ancient stone carvings, and I’m out like a light. Who needs melatonin?
I’m not saying it’s aliens, but … no, really. I’m not. It’s hard to take their content seriously. when one of its hosts—Giorgio A. Tsoukalos—has become a viral sensation.
Joking aside, I’m not discounting the possibility of aliens. Our solar system is one of hundreds of billions of solar systems in our Milky Way galaxy. Astronomers have catalogued only a small percentage of its stars, but they estimate there could be up to 20 billion Earth-like planets in our galaxy alone. NASA also estimates—thanks to data from the Hubble Space Telescope and the New Horizons spacecraft—that there are 100 billion to two trillion galaxies in the observable universe. Can you imagine? Hundreds of trillions—orquadrillions—of solar systems out there, with the possibility of at least one Earth-like, Goldilocks planet in each solar system. For more mind-melting mathematics, here is the Drake equation, the formula for the probability of finding alien life in the universe.
Since the 1940s, UFO sightings have been a common occurrence. Today, the search for extraterrestrials is a hot topic among Area 51/Area S4 conspiracy theorists like Bob Lazar, SETI scientists, and late night radio hosts. And alien invasion/attack themes are common in popular science fiction for a reason: the thought of extraterrestrials visiting us, secretly living among us, and/or attacking us is a frightening scenario.
Therefore, these recent news stories and reports add to the terror and raise important questions about our personal and national security: this 2021 60 Minutes investigation into secret intelligence programs monitoring 650 Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena or UAP threats; this 2021 report from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence; and this 2023 U.S. Senate hearing about nonhuman ”biologics” found at a UAP crash site.
What if extraterrestrials are currently living in our neighborhoods? What if they start to attack? Shouldn’t homeowners and business owners have some form of insurance policy in place to protect against property damage, bodily harm or snatching, alien probes or abduction?
Cue skeptics’ headshaking and eye-rolling. I get it. It can be hard for some to validate these questions, considering our civilization’s limited space exploration technology. It would take our fastest space probe, the Parker Solar Probe—which has reached speeds nearing 395,000 miles per hour—more than 5,000 years to cross our solar system, and more than a billion years to reach the other side of our galaxy.
Yet just because our space exploration is limited doesn’t mean that advanced life-forms from distant galaxies haven’t mastered faster-than-light travel and embarked on their own missions—for good or for evil.
Here are a few types of insurance policies independent agents can recommend to clients seeking coverage from harm or damages caused by extraterrestrials hiding in your neighborhoods.
For the homeowner …
In most cases, homeowners (personal property and dwelling) insurance will most likely cover property loss or damage during robberies, home invasions, burglaries and vandalism caused by extraterrestrials, or humans who have been body-snatched by them. Personal property coverage should help pay for repair or replacement of damaged or stolen items, while dwelling coverage can help pay for structure damage to the house.
However, if any physical probing, abduction, mind control, body-snatching, genetic mutations, consumption or infection with parasites occur, homeowners should consider that they will need coverage with a home invasion insurance policy to cover people-related risks that standard homeowners policies do not—such as physical injuries and the above subjections.
An insurance policy from a niche market with an excess-and-surplus marketplace may provide coverage, depending on the policy’s stipulations; policyholders would have to prove that injury or death was caused by an extraterrestrial; that damage was caused by an extraterrestrial; or that they were attacked and/or subjected to any of the above atrocities by an alien life-form; and there would probably need to have verification by a witness or two. Some online accounts recall that Lloyd’s of London has sold thousands of alien insurance policies, but this has not been verified: therefore, consult your Lloyd’s consultant.
For the business owner …
Commercial property coverage will most likely cover the cost of damage or theft of business property done by extraterrestrials in either human or other worldly forms.
Business interruption insurance can help cover costs while the business is temporarily shut down to make repairs.
Commercial auto insurance, equipment insurance, etc., also may apply, depending on the type of business.
Business owners also should consider general liability insurance policies for such injury risk caused by alien abduction, probing, body-snatching, etc.
In case of a national or global invasion, or ‘War of the Worlds’
Most homeowners and business policies may have war-risk exclusions that will not cover an act of war. However, there are war-risk insurance policies available through several carriers and specialty markets; policies may cover war, revolution, rebellion, insurrection or any hostile act, that would include capture, seizure, arrest, restraint or detainment, with use of mines, torpedoes and bombs or other weaponry. Consult an independent insurance agent to see if these policies would apply.
Nonbelievers, guess what? You’re (almost) in the minority. Recent polls demonstrate how the U.S. population’s belief of alien life teeter between 30-65%, depending on current events and news sensationalism—polls also showed that 20% of U.K.’s population believed in alien life, and a whopping 47% of the world population believed in UAPs—formerly known as UFOs—or alien life.
A final word of warning … just because you suspect that your shady neighbor could be a human who’s been body-snatched, or an extraterrestrial who shapeshifts into alien form, approach with caution. It’s best to stay safe, observe from a distance, and make detailed notes of their actions for further evaluation or investigation by proper authorities—such as an NSA or CSS officer.
However, to protect your house, auto or business from extraterrestrial attacks, contact your local independent agent. He or she can advise you on the best insurance policies for your coverage needs.
Jeana Coleman
Jeana Coleman is the marketing specialist in the Communications Department at PIA Northeast. She is responsible for creating content for print, digital and social-media marketing initiatives. Prior to joining PIA, she worked as a writer/editor for media organizations in Kaiserslautern, Germany, and Fayetteville, Ark., and directed communications, special events, and fund development for nonprofit organizations in Little Rock, Ark. In her leisure time, she enjoys cooking, arts and crafts, DIY home projects, and fishing with her husband and son around upstate New York/Adirondacks and the coastal Northeast region.
